Monday, September 18, 2006

4 Beers with Hitch and the Ixman!

You know, I have a really great idea for a nightly talking head show.

It stars Christopher Hitchens and the Ixman (hey - it's my blog). We'll feature the usual topical interview roundup as most everyone else. The catch is that all guests must have had 4 beers (or the equivalent of some other adult beverage) before they go on screen.

Don't you think we'd learn a whole lot more about our guests if they were under a more induced state, temporarily free from their, er, constraints? I bet, for example, that George Will would be completely different, and altogether more interesting, after a few Shiners. Wouldn't you love to hear Rosie try to defend some of her more assinine statements after she - oh wait - you'd not be able to tell the difference there. But you see my point. Don't even get me started on Mel Gibson.

The beauty of this format is that the principal interviewers - Hitch and I - would be more or less unaffected, as we are only just getting started at 4!

We could have a cool little counter or meter across the bottom of the screen which would show the number of drinks thus far consumed. Of course we could turn that to a digital counter for popular figures like John Daly or Keith Richards.

This is ideal for HBO, as the language would be scorching and the topics - to say the least - broad.

UPDATE: Thank you Insty readers and Instapundit! Please come in and have a seat. Uh, would you like a beer?

31 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

I won't pretend I don't enjoy this, or that I do it only reluctantly...

in fact it is a source of real pleasure in my life...

Ixman wrote "principle interviewers" and meant "principal interviewers".

I suspect some principle will creep into interviews by such luminaries, and yet after that many beers I can't be sure. Meanwhile "principal interviewers" means "the main ones, the first choice, the top rank".

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dave:
Please leave me your address, so I can come over there and kick your ass... on principle.

8:28 AM  
Blogger Pyrthroes said...

Why base truth-interviewing on intoxication-- how's about fatigue?

Get your puffer-bellies on a three-mile run, then fifty pushups followed by windsprints. Then ask, "On principle, why is Ahmadinejad like a cow-pie?" The first to answer, "Because both are meadow-muffins" is excused from doing x-number of situps.

"Mens sana in corpore sano", eh?

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That pic of rosie captures it perfectly!

Especially on Naitonal Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Garrrr (hic)

8:32 AM  
Blogger Ixman said...

pyrthroes:

Because Ann Coulter and Herr Ahnold would be permanent guest hosts. Michael Moore could only show up once.

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alas, some of us who do not use alcohol would view being required to drink four beers before speaking as just another form of Bush torture or, more cleverly, Busch torture.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous:


Alas, some of us who do not use alcohol would view being required to drink four beers before speaking as just another form of Bush torture or, more cleverly, Busch torture.


Quite right! That's why they could have a "4 Hits from medicinal marijuana" for the lefties.

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about we just put the interviewees under the barbaric CIA interrogation methods of noogies and wedgies?

9:07 AM  
Blogger Ixman said...

Right. I'll give Hitch the noogie and you give Rosie the wedgie.

I suspect that last one violates something somewhere. Probably pretty harshly too.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Many machines on Ix.. Better than those on Richese...

9:18 AM  
Blogger Ixman said...

Richese?

I'm more of a Dan Simmons guy myself.

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Comedy Central had a show where some comics in Vegas played poker while drinking hard. They played some cards, told jokes, insulted each other, refused to tip the waitress and farted a lot.

It lasted one episode.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

Wow, Ixman!

Those Instalanches sure do bring out the funniest commenters....

And I'm not giving my address to any of them, but I AM 6'4" and 300 lbs, so maybe I'm just trying to save them some embarrassment.. :-)

10:55 AM  
Anonymous EDH said...

Rosie O'Donnell, huh?

I'm guessing here, but too be fair, you'd probably have to adjust your "four beer" requirement in relation to the guest's body weight!

11:15 AM  
Blogger Alex V said...

I would buy HBO just to watch this.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Ixman said...

Yes, we could sandwich it between reruns of Real Sex and Bill Maher.

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"That's why they could have a "4 Hits from medicinal marijuana" for the lefties."

I'm a rightie who doesn't drink so don't bogart that joint, hippie.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Redhawke said...

While "4 Beers" has a ring to it, might I suggest a slight format/title change - ".10 with Hitch and Ix!" Before anyone can say anything, they have to blow at least a .10 on an Intoxilyzer. That ought to balance out any inherent body weight advantage...

Another thought - a "sudden death" round, with increasing BA levels as the show goes on.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Assistant Village Idiot said...

Ooh, I like that sudden death round thingy. Or you could just give a two minute warning each show.

To really get energy, you'd have to get several guests blowing a .10 at the same time. Especially if you have five or six of them all drinking together beforehand, then pick two at the last minute. The other few could join the studio audience.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Ixman said...

Redhawke

Excellent! That does negate Hitch and Ix's natural advantage, though.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And they'd have to drink another beer during each commercial break.

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the format should be what Rodney Dangerfield propsed in "Back to School."

"Waitress, bring a pitcvhr of beer every 15 minutes until someone passes out. Then bring one every 10 minutes!"

5:06 PM  
Blogger NoAcuteDistress said...

I think the format should be what Rodney Dangerfield propsed in "Back to School."

"Waitress, bring a pitcher of beer every 15 minutes until someone passes out. Then bring one every 10 minutes!"

5:08 PM  
Blogger Ymarsakar said...

I got a better idea. How about you can have 1 minute of mike time if you drink a beer or other alcoholic beverage with the same alcohol content as one beer.

If you drink 5 in a row, you get 10 minutes of mike time.

That would be a nice way to create "Crossfire" debates that are actually enjoyable to watch.

If you want to talk, just drink more beer as your opponent is lambasting your position.

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The idea is interesting, but not original: Ted Kennedy has been employing this technique for decades.

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Marty said...

Mazurland Blog discovered you through your Instalanche. Nice concept. We've linked to it: http://mazurland.typepad.com/myweblog/2006/09/db4l.html

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, this show could redefine the term "puke liberal"...

8:33 PM  
Blogger Ixman said...

"Marty......!"

/Hannity

6:15 AM  
Anonymous Bayonet said...

Capital idea. Brings the TV "Drinking Class" back into vogue . . . like Dean Martin and Jackie Gleason.

"Brought To You BYyyyyy . . . Jihad Gin, The Bacardi of Baghdad, Hammas Genuine Draft, Sadr Scotch . . . ."

6:36 AM  
Blogger Ixman said...

Yes, but does *anyone* remember Foster Brooks?

7:14 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

I LOVED Foster Brooks.. I wish there was somebody who could do what he did..

I'd do it myself if I had the talent, just to pi$$ off the PC crowd... :-)

8:09 AM  

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